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Tag: delusion

The Diabolique Saint

The world will break your heart infinite times to the end of day. And that’s guaranteed.

And I can’t begin to explain why that happens. The craziness that creeps inside me or anybody else is beyond my reasoning ability.

But I guess I have learnt one thing: never lose hope.

If we try a little harder, we all have that one shot at a silver lining. Well and that’s how life is.

Pause, pause. That’s a relevant thing I wrote up there but by any chance if you are thinking this is some crazy old shit then hold on because there’s more to come.

This is about my life or anybody else’s. To avoid any circumstantial controversies let me talk about the person that resides in me.

As I see it this person is a saint.

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Well he is not the typical happy go lucky fellow. Because that happy-go –lucky term is often exaggerated and most often seen in the fancy Bollywood movies where the happy charm is inadvertently incorporated at the end to let us commoners dwell in illusion that our life is no different from that man from the movie. Pheww…I had to get that out.

So let me talk about the person that we, or to be more precise, I, can relate to.

Having born and brought up abiding to the social norms of our culture I believe I am a very genuine person willing to do good for the society, family, friends, poor, government, and what not.

But this feel good factor is only a veil to hide the atrocious behavior of our devilish nature.

So where to start? Where this I-am-so-good notion did develop in our minds

Let us see. This saintly person I am talking of loves his family, he’s got some amazing friends, he loves with passion, he is truly committed to his work, he is fun, he is adorable and to be very honest he is purely delusional. Because he is not real. Because it’s in my mind. It’s in all our minds to project the good side of our selves so that we linger in this feel good limbo.

We all believe we are saints, true to the nature of every human being who thinks they are always right because we all have that alter ego inside. And that’s where the term delusional fits in so well.

Delusional: an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality.

So where did I go wrong? What should I term myself to be at peace with my real self? I always feel happy thinking I am doing everything alright, but am I?

I have wronged my family many a times, I have cheated my friends on numerous occasions, I have double dated with the love of my life, I have been rude, I have committed sins I can never forget so who am I??How can I be the saintly person I always think myself to be or am I plain diabolique??

Sometimes I smile wondering how some words hold such a powerful chord in the strings of our life.

Diabolique…the word means pure evil yet how beautiful it sounds.

There you go another saintly character to search for positives in the most devilish moments.

The answer lies right there if we delve a little deeper.

I am confused. I am being pragmatic and I wish to resolve the conflict within myself.

I am downright charming yet stupid, I am innocent yet have used it for my own selfish needs, I am soft spoken yet aggressive, elegant yet abrasive, ruthless yet a romantic.

To be honest it would be an uncanny battle of my own self if I go on pondering upon the true nature that I dwell in.

There is no pure saint. We all do good I agree but there lurks that irresistible urge to do evil inside each and one of us. We all have the devil inside, and I believe it has a slight edge over our instincts but hey we still live.

Following the social norms of our society, putting up a fake smile whenever we are sad, try to make someone laugh in their plight of sorrow, pull ourselves back from the dreads of failure, we win and show off cause we deserve to, every day we successfully put on the veil of good over bad, and we live and we are happy, it will always be an eternal struggle of one’s own self to do something good after numerous bads so that at the end of the day we can be at peace with ourselves. We do evil and we also do good. We all have that saint inside us which balances the ever looming devil.

I let go a mirth of laughter as I justify the first few lines of this article.’ HOPE’ it’s an extraordinary tool. We all hope that at the end of the day no matter how evil how satanic we all have been, we seek the saint inside us.

I have a few lines as I retort to peace on having come to a bemused conclusion:

“That which we are…we are…

With equal tempers and heroic hearts…

Made weak by time and fate…

But strong in will, to strive to seek to find and never to yield…”

And there you go. I came across my true self. Neither a pure saint nor a complete devil. We all have this person inside us whom we often chose to ignore, and it gives me peace to give it an acceptable name. “The Diabolique Saint”.
chess saint

Everybody Lies

Lie, a wrong information transmitted to someone intentionally. In fact it is an activity that we indulge ourselves in everyday, innumerable amount of times. Most of the times known, sometimes unknown. Lying, to be true, is the practical form of optimism, it’s the information that people intend to listen to as truth. Lie is just an extra information with the truth, that alters it completely and make it palatable to the normal humans. Well, let’s ignore all this philosophical shit, and get inside.

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Let’s get to the fact who lies the most. Well arranging “The government, Woman, Your wife, Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Salesman, Facebook Freaks, Yourself, Your Practical Teachers, The World, Random Albert Einstein Quotes and, Nobody” in decreasing order, you shall find Nobody at the end of the answer, and “The World” at the beginning. Everybody in this goddamn world lies, some lie to make themselves famous, some lie to make others famous, some lie to make up for the mistakes they had made, some lie to make their Love unconditional and pure, and some simply to flirt. The whole society revolves around lies.
Even though the society claims that racism doesn’t exist (So does USA’s newly re-elected President Obama) Lies have been divided into black and white, and a ton others. (Refer  Wiki-Fuckin-True-Pedia ).

Let’s get a deeper view into the process of lying. To even lie properly, you have to be spectacularly awesome. You need superb coordination of your hands, eyes, mouth while at the same time your mind must be capable of overcoming reflexes. A single stutter, or eyelashes dropping too many times can expose a lie. Yes, a guy who lies perfectly is truly awesome.  And the guy who are uniquely talented at this job are called Con-Artists. Also known as Politicians.

The lie chain is something incredibly amazing indeed. It kind of resembles chain reaction from nuclear sciences too. A single lie simply gives rise to many others. You lie up once, to make others believe it’s true, you lie up about something again, and the same thing keeps on repeating itself. The loop continues up to infinity. It only ends when, either the other side gets bored of your ridiculous answers, or you just get caught.

Everybody lies. From the smiling unbearably hot models on random advertisements on television to the Pornstars faking orgasm. From the shopkeeper who gives you a huge unfathomable discount, to a girl who is suffering from stomach aches saying she ate weird stuff, instead ignoring the fact she had sex a month ago. From the random SEO blogs scattered all over on the internet saying they can help you to increase the number of visits on your blog to, the girl who just uploaded her Instagram’d Pic. From the random coaching institutes that guarantees you a rank having less digits in competitive exams to, the engineering college that guarantees 100% placement. From comforting yourself that the course you left won’t come in your exam to, the promise you made you won’t smoke from now on, although being a chain smoker. From infinity and beyond to your position. From future to this very present. Everybody Lies.

Lies move you into a delusion, delusion leads to truth, truth leads to closed eyes. Lies leads you to the  truth that makes you handicap, and socially awesome. And, believe me, it sucks. No, I am not some freaking Sanyasi, who speaks truth always. I am still the same guy whose parents know that he doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, never visited a porn site and bla bla bla. But I instead have found an another way to avoid lies. In fact of telling lies, I prefer to skip it. Why shall you try to win a war, when you can evade it from the very beginning? (Or maybe coz I am too lazy to kick asses ;)

“It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.” – House MD.

Post inspired from : House MD