Name – the identity of oneself, isn’t it? But I don’t have one. No one has named me yet. People call me with whatever name comes out of their mouth. And believe me, I don’t mind it. I feel elated with each and every new name I’m christened with. All that matters to me is their love, the care and affection bound names they call me.
“Life is not about creating an identity but to be engraved in peoples’ heart as an unidentified one. Knowing you is not a big deal but yes holding a place in someone’s heart despite being an unidentified one surely is colossal.”
Sep 13th, 2013 : 6.00am: I remember the very day I entered this college encompassed by forests, adorned with the best infrastructure and scenic beauty located in some remote part of Andhra Pradesh. I quite liked the place and the people- they are so benevolent. The kindest ones I have ever come across. I’m definitely not a student but a spectator of the pompous ambience prevailing there. I see a lot of things. Some are busy chatting, some gossiping, some bleating about professors, banging head over assignments, tests etc. But the fun, the bonding, the friendship is the spectrum I enjoy seeing.
“More the moments you grumble, more the joy you crumble.”
Oct 27th, 2013 : 4.08 am: It was dawn when my abdomen started getting cramps. I felt the convulsions across my body and I felt my spine cracking. I was groaning in the pain but none listened. No one saw me suffer. With all anguish I gushed my pain away. Yes, I was suffering from sheer pleasure. I just bore a baby. I’m a mother. That little tiny one I have is my baby. The smell of new born is still afresh. The tiny pink paws are closed and the beautiful eyes – oh! How can I forget? They are going to be open soon. My kid will see this beautiful world.
“You have seen the world enough alone with your eyes. Now, see its time to see together.”
Oct 28th ,2013 : 11.15pm: It’s raining cats and dogs. I have nowhere to go. My kid is asleep getting drenched. I begged the rain to stop. Tears roll down my eyes blending with rain drops. But I’m helpless. I cuddled him tight under me to provide warmth and safeguard against any ailments. The rain is ceaseless and not a hint to pause. It’s been three days now. I haven’t had food for three days because I can’t afford to leave him alone. I’m famished and I feel chill rushing down my spine. I stand devastated.
Oct 31st, 2013 : 6.00am: The fourth day of my baby being born. The rain finally showed its mercy and stopped. I’m very happy seeing the sun light. The ray of hope sparked in me. My baby will not feel sick anymore. I exuded my happiness and gratitude to the almighty.
Oct 31st, 2013 : 11.45pm: My baby is sleeping. Still, his eyes are not opened. I’m truly getting impatient. “When will we see the world together?” out of blue, I hear someone rustle. I’m fettered with fear. I clung my baby tight visualizing what it could be. And at the drop of a hat, I feel the agony around my neck. Tethered to a lasso I felt nauseated. I saw myself being dragged away from my baby. He is still lying there – whimpering. The rope choked me. I endured and pushed myself to limits to get back to him. I was dragged further. Blood oozed out of my nose. I tried further. I was whipped. Then I see a man’s hand picking my baby and putting into a trash bag. I wish I could kill him then right away. I couldn’t. I was intensely choked. I was bashed and thrown out of the institute.
Oct 31st, 2013 : 1.00pm: I managed to get up and still rummage all the trash bags to find my baby. I could find nothing. My baby is gone. He is lost. After striving for four hours I see pink paws of my baby. A thick book was piling on him. With all my might, I jostled to put that book away. It took all my strength. A struggle of half-an hour helped me win eventually. I’m happy. I found my baby. But, he is not whimpering. He is not breathing. He is not moving. They bloody killed him. Those dogcatchers murdered him.
“Darkness all around.” The joy of motherhood is gone and here again I stand alone. Just because I’m a dog, am I not allowed to have a happy motherhood? Just because I’m not strong enough, does it give a right to kill my baby? Does being a non-human means being thrown away like trash? I have never harmed anyone but have only loved. I’m deprived of my happiness, the feeling of being a mother just because I cannot speak?
“Every love pays a price. I paid mine.”
[Animals are spectacular creation by god. Let’s protect them. Let’s come together and help them survive. Animal cruelty is an utter disgrace. Let’s try to eradicate it. Let’s grow together.]